Mother’s Day is different for me this year, altogether different from what I had known for a total of 58 years.

My mom died last year on Sept. 14 at the age of 87. She faced dementia with courage late in life. She moved from Boulder Estates to Boulder Creek in 2022, then moved to the Lockwood House hospice house in 2024 when she lost her mobility.

Last year we celebrated Mother’s Day. I always bought her Mother’s Day card and her birthday card for May 20 at the same time. She enjoyed her last birthday. She smiled for a photo.

Shortly after her birthday she had a setback that resembled a stroke. She was confined to her bed for the entire summer. We knew the end would come sooner rather than later.

I’m fortunate that I had the summer to say goodbye. There were days when I’d visit that she was completely unresponsive. I looked forward to the days when she could greet me and have a conversation. She knew what was happening in my life, and was glad that I moved to Boulder Estates.

Almost everyone my age and older has lost at least one parent. Losing the second one is very final. When I lost my mom I lost my greatest link to my dad. It made me miss my dad much more.

They led good lives. They were fortunate in the 1960s that my dad was hired at Marshall Public Schools after Central Catholic High School closed. It meant that they didn’t have to move.

Fifteen years of joyful retirement began in 1999. They became grandparents to my sister’s three children. Madeline was born in 2002. Maggie followed in 2004 and Jack in 2006.

They would visit Marshall from Omaha every summer for about two weeks. They enjoyed visits to Minneota, Ivanhoe and the Currie train museum. They liked the little Dairy Queen and going to County Fair for cookies. I was glad they could enjoy their grandparents’ house on Marguerite Avenue.

My parents also operated an antique business. They sold most of their merchandise in Lake Benton. We had fun going to auctions, flea markets and garage sales.

Another part of their retirement involved travel. They took a trip to Tahiti with relatives. They visited New Orleans in 2005 a week before Hurricane Katrina. Other trips included Washington D.C., Alaska, yearly Texas trips to see my aunt and uncle, and a 2004 family vacation in Colorado.

My dad faced Parkinson’s Disease starting in 2012. He died in 2019 shortly after they moved from their house to Boulder Estates.

I wasn’t sure what it would be like this year to have my May 2 birthday, Mother’s Day and then my mom’s birthday.

I thought it might be lonely. My sister and brother in law made May 2 a special day by driving up from Omaha. They came with a cake, a card, and a May basket.

I’m now looking forward to a quiet Mother’s Day. I’ll probably call my sister and at least one relative. If it’s a nice day I’ll take a walk at the Southwest Minnesota State University Wildlife Area and will plant lettuce seed in my raised bed garden.

I’ll think back to the many happy memories I have of mom and dad. I’m glad that I was right here in Marshall as they grew elderly, and glad that I had a flexible work schedule. It enabled me to give something back for everything they gave me.

Everyone who still has at least one parent should treasure every moment. Even though the aging process leads to challenges, they should be thankful for what they have.

When someone gets past a certain age, you never know how long they’ll continue to live. It’s in God’s hands. There’s a need to take one day at a time, to find something special in every new day.

That leads to contentment when looking back, when it’s time to go forward in life even though parents have passed away. It’s good if someone can say they have no regrets, only very special memories of two very special people.

— Jim Muchlinski is a longtime reporter and contributor to the Marshall Independent