My grandfather speaks to me constantly.

Over the years, I’ve participated in tense discussions about various topics, and as the discussion got quieter and quieter, my mind goes back to my grandfather’s advice.

For as long as I knew him, he was in a wheelchair and wore hearing aids. Please remember his time here was before all the current acknowledgment of disabilities and he did the best he could. He never let “the chair” (as he called his wheelchair.) get in the way of anything and he always found a way to make us laugh.

Out of those many grandfatherly moments, came the simple thought to always find the light — the humor — in the situation. He had a much waited for classic statement to say whenever he didn’t want to hear what grandmother said and it makes me smile just thinking about it.

He would give grandma a blank stare and say that he had his hearing aid turned off so he didn’t hear what she said. I can see grandma rolling her eyes and then beginning to laugh as we all starting shaking with giggles and laughter.

To him, laughter was the light that cleansed the atmosphere and he was never afraid to turn on that light. As we laughed, he would remark that if we can’t laugh together, we can’t work together. Oh, such words of wisdom! It’s in the common ground of humor that we can come together as a family, a neighborhood or as a country. Will there be challenges? Of course, but working toward the common good takes open common sense and the brightness of humor.

So, I carry grandpa with me today. At a recent meeting of a diverse group of folks, there was beginning to be a tightness to the conversation about how to proceed with a community effort to raise the issue of how to bring the community together for the good of all. Grandpa spoke to me.

I asked each attendee to tell the group what brought joy into their life. As we went around the room, the speakers became more and more relaxed as they agreed on mutual topics and began to laugh together. I finish the effort by saying my grandfather would be proud of us today and I told them his story of the hearing aid and grandma. The group broke out into a belly roll of laughter!

As the room quieted, I simply said that if we can’t laugh together, we can’t work together and the fact that we all just laughed with each other proved we can solve our differences.

Many times I’ve brought people together over a glass of Bolla Cabernet Sauvignon — a value priced Italian red wine that is light in body and taste with its plummy and black cherry flavors. Even if we all don’t like a red, it’s one that we can all sip and have a chat.

My beer drinking buddies and I have varying tastes for brews and we have a good time giving each other a “bad time” over what the other person is drinking. We joke, laugh and talk — what’s better than that? My pale ale buds can’t understand why I enjoy Summit Oatmeal Stout at this time of the year. As much as I try to impress upon them the goodness of this dark beauty, they will decline and, we have a laugh. We may not like the same beer but we can laugh together about it.

If we can’t get along, how will we accomplish anything? There are friends of mine who will only drink a Chardonnay — especially, Line 39’s, light and full of citrus tastes, Chardonnay. Then, there are those who will only consume a glass of Apothic Cabernet Sauvignon — a beautiful full bodied and succulent wine with vanilla tastes and aromas. Who cares if we choose different wines? Enjoy what you enjoy but always be open to at least tasting your friends offering. If you can’t do that, how do we learn to experience all that life offers us?

It’s going to be fun to venture into the upcoming holiday season because I’m hearing rumors of new offerings in the making. My family knows me and they always make me laugh!

If we can’t laugh together, how we can work together? How can we solve any issue in a respectful way? How can we be civil to each other? We wouldn’t always agree but we can, at least, agree to disagree and then move forward.

You can always fall back on my grandfather’s hearing aid statement to bring the light of laughter into the moment.

As always, eat and drink in moderation but laugh with reckless abandon!

Cheers!