Photo by Deb Gau Deb Ahmann prepares her notes at the start of a talk at the Lyon County Museum on Saturday. Ahmann shared the story of her brother Tom Bradley, from his life growing up in Minneota until after his death during the Vietnam War in 1969.

MARSHALL — It was a moment that changed everything for a Minneota family.

Deb (Bradley) Ahmann was 11 years old when she learned her older brother Tom had been killed while serving in Vietnam. The difference for her family after Tom died was immediate, Ahmann said.

“I noticed it right away. Everything just felt different,” she said.

While the loss the Bradley family experienced was profound, Ahmann said she also wanted people to remember Tom as a person, and not just for the way he died.

“I think that’s part of my mission all these years later, is that I don’t want his name forgotten,” she said.

Ahmann spoke about the experiences of a Gold Star family on Saturday at the Lyon County Museum. The event was one of a few different talks the Lyon County Historical Society has held, sharing the stories of service members and other area residents affected by the Vietnam War.

“The war in Vietnam touched many, many more in our communities beyond the hundreds of Lyon County residents who served in that war,” said Bill Palmer, a board member of the Lyon County Historical Society. They included Gold Star families — those who had lost loved ones who were serving in the war.

In her talk, Ahmann reflected back on life growing up with her brothers Tom and Dick in Minneota.

“It was a typical childhood in Minneota,” she said. “There were bikes, and scooters, and dogs, and baseball, and hunting, and fishing and running around.”

The Bradley siblings also went on family road trips in their dad’s yellow Rambler, and celebrated Christmas at their grandmother’s house.

Tom Bradley graduated from high school in 1965.

“It was a really big deal for our family. He was the first of the kids to graduate,” Ahmann said.

“In this whole transition to adulthood, I don’t think Vietnam was on our radar. I don’t remember any conversations about it or anything. But of course, you know, I’m young, I don’t have a number in the draft and everything like that,” she said.

By the time Dick Bradley graduated from high school in 1968, Tom had been drafted into the Army, Ahmann said. Tom went through basic training in Fort Campbell, Kentucky, and then advanced individual training in Fort Lewis, Washington. Tom returned home for a while before being sent to Vietnam.

Ahmann was 10 years old when Tom left for his military service. She recalled what it was like, using entries from her childhood diaries.

“I think it’s September 20th or something of 1968, when we took Tom to the Sioux Falls airport so he could leave for Vietnam. I had written in my diary that it was nothing remarkable on the way there,” she said. “But what I was struck by, was that I wrote that on the way home, after we had said goodbye to him, that Dad drove without speaking, and that Mom had tears on her cheeks.”

“I knew it was a big deal. But I don’t think I knew, you know, how big of a deal it was,” Ahmann said.

The Bradleys started eating supper in the living room every day, “Because we had to watch the 5:30 news in front of the TV,” Ahmann said.

The family would wait for Tom’s letters, and send care packages to him. Ahmann said her mother would be “freaked out” when letters arrived that had parts blacked out. Audience members said that was likely done to prevent information like troop locations from getting into enemy hands.

One Monday morning in June 1969, a car pulled up in front of the Bradleys’ house, and a soldier got out to speak with Ahmann’s parents. She described seeing her parents’ grief, while not being sure exactly what was going on.

“The soldier told my parents something about my brother Tom having been ambushed while on night patrol and dying in a hospital near Saigon on June 19 — the previous Thursday,” Ahmann said. “Mom asked when they in Willmar had learned of Tom’s death. And the solder said, ‘Friday, but we don’t work on weekends.'”

“That was a tough one” for her parents to hear, Ahmann said.

Relatives and community members came over to support the Bradley family, but it was still overwhelming and confusing, she said.

Ahmann said after Tom died, her family started corresponding with one of Tom’s friends from his unit in Vietnam. They learned that, instead of being wounded in an ambush, Tom was hit by scrap metal when rounds were fired at the compound where Tom and other soldiers were sleeping.

“After that letter came, I remember there was a great deal of anger at our house,” Ahmann said. “Was the Army telling us the truth here, or not?”

However, being able to write to Tom’s friend and have her questions answered was a big help for Ahmann’s mother, she said.

“My parents took their role as a Gold Star family very seriously,” Ahmann said. “They donated Tom’s flag that was on his casket to the American Legion in Minneota … and they never missed a Memorial Day program in Minneota, until their deaths.”

Ahmann said she thought she and her brother Dick “just kind of picked up” where their parents left off in remembering Tom. They’ve also been grateful for people who have also worked to remember Tom and fellow soldiers killed in the Vietnam War. Ahmann said her family have received rubbings of Tom’s name from the Vietnam War Memorial, and they were also grateful for Royal and Charlie Hettling’s work in establishing the Vietnam Memorial and History Center in Minneota.

Ahmann said she also hoped people could remember Tom as a person, and not a casualty of war. She closed the talk with stories about Tom when he was growing up, as a way to celebrate his life.

“I’m hoping maybe there’s something in there that, instead of this being sad, it’s that he was a real person and he touched our lives deeply,” she said.