Dear Annie: I will try to tell you a short version. I was married twice and had kids with both men. You could say my “picker” for men was or is broken. Anyway, I ended up leaving both men. Both were mentally abusive; one was also physically abusive. I took the kids with me.

Well, it didn’t take long for both men to start “buying” my kids, and it just kept evolving into buying them anything they want. I was poor because both men kept the child support in arrears all the time. Fast-forward and none of the kids want anything to do with me, and now they have kids, and I get to see the kids once a year, and one of my kids is turning into his father — swearing at his children all the time, with no patience, while the other parent does nothing about it. The kids aren’t physically abused, just raised to be afraid, and also don’t want anything to do with me.

This has broken my heart and soul and has caused a lot of health issues for me. I pray about it. I miss my kids and grandkids so much I’m afraid I won’t have this mother-child or grandmother-grandchild relationship that I want before I’m gone. How do I handle this? I need to do something. It’s killing me. — Broken

Dear Broken: You are anything but broken. You managed to get your children out of abusive homes, which is a feat to be proud of. Unfortunately, it seems that their fathers still had a significant impact on their lives. If you suspect any abuse going on in their homes, the first step is to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

Beyond that, you need to reclaim some of your power. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stop referring to yourself as broken. When you do see your children and grandchildren, model the type of behavior that you want them to see, and clearly express how much you value quality time with them. Young children are especially impressionable; they will witness their strong, confident, articulate grandmother and try to emulate her. Don’t underestimate yourself.

Dear Annie: Please tell “Wishing I Could Talk to Him,” whose husband is extremely sensitive and in denial about his bad breath, to have her husband screened for cancer or other hidden diseases. My mother had this exact same problem with my father, right down to the uncomfortable car rides the letter writer mentioned, but having been a registered nurse, my mother realized that his bad breath could be caused by disease and not just poor hygiene.

It turned out that my father had colon cancer and was operated on within days. He survived and lived another 25 years to the ripe old age of 92. — Been There

Dear Been There: Thank you, and several other readers, for making this suggestion — it’s a good one, indeed. While bad breath can be indicative of bad oral hygiene, it can also be a sign that something more sinister is going on. “Wishing I Could Talk to Him” should have her husband make an appointment with his primary care physician to rule out more serious health concerns. Then he’ll be one step closer to determining the root of his bad breath.