Sextortion: threatening to distribute someone’s sexual images, videos, or information in order to receive something of monetary value.

This is a word that is slowly becoming unavoidable when we open our social media or news articles. It is common for us to say, “Oh, that doesn’t happen here,” or “That won’t happen to me or my kid.” The truth is that it is happening here, and it could happen to you or someone you know.

Although sextortion seems like a new term or is unfamiliar, it has made a very big impact on people in our communities’ lives. WRAP staff have attended multiple trainings on sextortion. It is not only something that is a big part of the service provider world, but also with law enforcement. Sextortion is illegal and is something that can be criminally charged.

There are two main forms of sextortion.

There is predatory sextortion, which is harmful and is most common with females. Predatory sextortion happens over a long period of time.

The other is monetary sextortion, which is anything with a cost or financial impact. Monetary sextortion is what is seen to be most common with males.

When males become victims of sextortion, it is more likely that they will be subjected to very explicit or extreme abuse.

Although sextortion is happening to all of our youth, the impact this is having on young males is severe and in more and more cases is ending with suicide.

Monetary sextortion is fast and extreme. On average, from the point of initial contact, explicit images are shared, and threats are made within a 4-8-hour period.

What does this 4-8-hour period look like?

We recognize that each case is different, but the majority of the cases start with a “young pretty girl” adding a young male on a social media platform. The “young girl” initiates contact and starts to flirt and form a bond. Within a short amount of time, they ask for sexual/explicit images to be shared, and almost immediately after something sexual/explicit is shared, the threats start.

“If you don’t send me $500 in one hour I will share your images with your family/friends/on social media.” “If you don’t send me $300, I’ll come to your home and hurt your family.” Panic mode sets in. They think, “My life will be over if anyone sees these.” “My parents will be so mad if they find out!”

They see no way out unless they can send the money. The truth is, no matter how much money they send, the threats will continue. They will ask for more and it’s not that young pretty girl texting. It’s someone completely different, and with most of these cases, it has been older males outside of the US.

For anyone in this situation, the first thing they should do is block the person who is sextorting them immediately.

The most important thing we can do to help our kids is to raise awareness. Have these important conversations with your children. Reassure them that no matter what it is, we can get through this together. Social media isn’t something that is going away, so we need to do what we can to make our kids safe.

Tell an adult, call one of our advocates, or just make that call to law enforcement right away.

There are also online resources available. Cyber tipline is a nation-wide tipline reporting system for the online exploitation for children. The other website is called ‘Take it down’ which focuses taking down explicit sexual images of persons under the age of 18. The website explains what it is, how it works and will walk you through the process step by step.

There are informational websites that are specific for youth 5-17, parents and to use in classrooms. This is call ‘Netsmartz’. It teaches kids how to make less risky choices online to say safe and information for parents to help protect their children online.

The last resource is an interactive video that takes you through a sextortion scenario. This is a great opportunity for youth and parents to see what this could look like. To go directly to the video type in www.noescaperoom.org

If you or someone you know is experienced or has experienced something like this and want more information our WRAP advocates can help. 1-800-639-2350 or www.letswrap.com

— Becci tenBensel is executive director of Womens Rural Advocacy Programs