In the past week I’ve given some extra thought to the idea of “empty nests”.

I’m not referring to bird nests, like the bluebird nests at Camden State Park that are empty now after a successful nesting season. Instead I’m thinking of the homes of many middle aged parents, whose children have grown up and branched out on their own.

The whole idea of “going off to college” has become a tradition since the 1950s. Until then it was typical for young people to stay close to home, to help with the farm or to get jobs in the nearest town.

Only a few young people went away for college. It was often expected that they’d come back, that they’d return to their communities to establish themselves in a career.

By the 1960s college became part of the life process for a much larger share of the population. Moving out of the house turned into a milestone of growing up, of proving that a young adult was ready for the “real world”.

I have a personal reason for thinking about empty nests. My nephew graduated from high school in May, and moved out of the house this past week. He’ll be at the University of Nebraska-Omaha majoring in aviation. He wants to be a pilot.

He’s the youngest of three children, which leaves my sister and brother in law at home with no kids for the first time in 22 years.

My sister has mentioned the change several times in our phone conversations. I can tell that it’s an adjustment, but she’s taking a good approach.

She knows that the kids are adults at this point. She realizes that they should lead their own lives, that they should make adult decisions and pay their own living expenses as much as possible.

I can’t imagine the whole empty nest experience since I’ve never been a parent. Just from being an uncle, I know how kids become the center of someone’s universe. Nearly everything in a parent’s life revolves around the kids.

They spend countless hours interacting with children at home. They attend a huge amount of youth events, everything from dance recitals to soccer games.

It must be a major change to go from that to not seeing the kids every day. Someone could easily wonder what to do with all the time, how to fill the extra hours of time at home.

We have to wonder if going off to college is really the best approach to becoming an adult. Maybe it would be better if young people stayed close to home. Perhaps they should continue to see their parents almost every day.

My own experience involved living at home for two years and then getting my own downtown apartment in my junior year at Southwest Minnesota State University.

I always knew that I could have dinner with my parents. It was a very comfortable, enjoyable time of life; a time with new experiences but also with all the comforts of home.

I never felt like I missed out on anything by not living in a college dorm. I visited friends in their dorms. It seemed crowded and noisy. Saving up and getting my own apartment was for me well worth the factor of not branching out right away.

My experience was not typical in the 1980s, and wouldn’t be typical in 2024. The experience of going off to college is almost like a rite of passage, something that young adults are supposed to go through.

Many good things happen at that point in someone’s life. They might finally settle on a career goal. They might meet the person they were meant to marry.

My sister and brother in law seem to be taking the empty nest situation in stride. When I called last week and none of the kids were home, they were just sitting out on their patio enjoying the nice summer day.

That’s an example of sitting back and enjoying what was accomplished in raising a family. It’s a time to enjoy looking back and a time to look ahead to all the good experiences that are yet to come.

— Jim Muchlinski is a longtime reporter and contributor to the Marshall Independent