This will not surprise anyone who knows me, but I’m confused.

Why am I confused? Well, my life, like yours, has been just a smidgen upset by our recent events. I’m not going to go into our national emergency but I could go on for pages about all of that stuff — from the recent chaotic election, to the pandemic (Yes, it’s here and real!) and the resulting political posturing on both sides of the aisle. But, no…

How about talking only about some personal confusion resulting from the recent chaotic election — no, I said I was not going to go there! How about a week in the life of me?

Make sure you have a strong cup of coffee or tea, a glass of wine, a cocktail or a brew handy — you’ll know why very soon!

Let’s start with what day of the week it is — by the way, what day of the week is it?

I think today is Monday. It seems I read the Sunday paper yesterday — I hope it was yesterday’s Sunday paper and not last weeks?? OK, let’s shake the confusion and say today is … Monday. What do I wear today?

OK, let’s think for a second. I think I wear jeans on Monday with a shirt. But, which jeans do I wear — the Chaps or the Levis? When did I last wear either of them and with which shirt? Does it really matter since the days blend together so nicely?

I slip on the Chaps pair of jeans, shrug on a green shirt — it is Christmas time, isn’t it?? — and do so just in time for my morning cup of coffee. Whew, made it to coffee time without too much confusion. But, what I think about is that nice glass of wine I’ll have later in the day.

The wine is a Sauvignon Blanc from Bogle Vineyards. Can’t wait for its nice soft citrus taste and crisp finish. That, I’m not confused about … at least for now!

Oh, oh, wait a moment! Maybe today is Tuesday and I had the Bogle yesterday? If it’s Tuesday, then what pants do I wear today? Do I wear my khakis or black slacks? And, what shirt and sweater? It’s getting too confusing! If it’s Tuesday, then I’ll wear my khakis with a black shirt and nice matching sweater — that was easy. Now, what to sip?

From deep within me, there’s a voice that is saying “Rob Roy.” It’s a perfect cocktail for Tuesday with its blended scotch, sweet vermouth and orange bitters recipe. Man! It’s got to be Tuesday, right? Wait a minute — there was no Monday night football on TV last night. Is it Wednesday?

Well, Wednesday is good — it’s mid week and about half of the week is gone — whew! Oops! If it’s Wednesday, what do I wear today? Gray fleece sweats and a sweat shirt? No, it’s not the weekend, I think!

So, let’s go with the Levis and a wonderful snugly gray hoodie. It’s kind of chilly today and when I go for a walk, I’ll be nice and warm. Which means I need a hot tea this afternoon — oh, let’s throw in a splash of bourbon, just for the heck of it! Hot tea toddy — chamomile tea, a bit of honey and lemon to join forces with the incoming bourbon, and life’s warm and cozy. But…

What if…it’s Thursday! Thursday is always my Malbec day — let’s say it’s Thursday. What do I wear? There doesn’t seem to be much/anything on the calendar so the black sweatpants beckon me — just relax, man! Throw on a flannel shirt — that green and red one — and relax, man, let the loon talk to you.

Yea! It’s time for a glass of Smoking Loon Malbec. With its full plummy scent, heavenly soft taste and pleasant finish, it’s the perfect ending to a Thursday. Wait a second! It can’t be Thursday — I had a dental appointment on Wednesday and didn’t go to it. So, is today Friday?

It must be Friday — it’s so dark and gloomy. If it’s Friday, what do I wear today? I’ll wear my black slacks with the dark blue shirt and I’ll match the gloom of the sky. Then, it’s time for a dark horse to appear.

Later today — Friday, right? — I’ll pour a glass of Dark Horse Cabernet Sauvignon and let the dark side appear. There’s a nice black cherry taste that matches well with the oak finish. I’ll welcome the Dark Side on this Friday. But…

What if it’s the weekend? Yippee! The weekend — no matter if it’s the weekend or not — let’s celebrate for having gotten through another week, I think! It’s PJ’s and slippers time to go along with a bottle of Jaume Serra Cristalino Extra Dry Cava.

The liquid’s crisp dryness will help us celebrate having gotten through another week — at least, I think we got through another week. Oh heck, who cares?

Let’s just celebrate that we are still here, helping others and, once in awhile, get to enjoy a touch of humor!

As always, eat and drink in moderation but laugh with reckless abandon!

Cheers!