To the editor:

Just when we thought we were getting desperate, Trump is rewarding us by demolishing the East Wing of the White House in order to construct a new 2-3 million dollar ballroom all done with generous patriot’s donations, some of them anonymous, but none of them stepping over the limits of ethics in government. It appears quite certain that the new ballroom will either be named for Trump himself or the McDonald’s corporation.

In other news, Trump has decided to sue the Department of Justice for catching him in the act of breaking the law by stealing and concealing classified documents, defrauding his charities, cheating on his taxes, interfering in elections, and running scam businesses. His 230 million dollar settlement would supposedly come from normal hardworking people’s tax dollars, so he himself would not have to contribute.

Finally, in an effort to help out the American farmer, Trump will send 40 billion dollars to Argentina to shore up a failing economy and to help them get into the world market. He will also flood the American market with their beef, in order to help the American farmers and ranchers who feel guilty about finally turning a profit. Then he will send checks to those American farmers who are still in business to make up for ruining their markets with his failed tariff policies.

Oh, and yes, we have been assured by officials on the inside that there is nothing in the Epstein Files that would involve Trump. It just gets curiouser and curiouser.

Dennis Phelps

Westbrook