MARSHALL – Next to losing her 15-year-old son, Clint, writing a book about the experience was the most difficult thing Tanya McCoss-Yerigan has ever done.

While McCoss-Yerigan, a Southwest Minnesota State University professor and owner of an international company, found the writing process excruciatingly painful, she’s thankful to learn that it has helped others who have suffered similar tragedies in their lives. “No Ordinary Son: A Journey Through Death and Living Again” came out in April and has already been reprinted three times.

“It was so hard to write the book, but I promised God I would write it so something good would come out of losing Clint,” she said. “And the response has been crazy, to be honest. I thought I would just order 20 books and then at some family gathering, most of those would come falling out of my brother’s closet or something. But we’ve sold so many books.”

McCoss-Yerigan said she has heard from people in almost every state. At one of her recent book-signings, a woman traveled several hundred miles to meet her, she said.

“This lady said she’d read ‘Heaven is for Real’ and ‘The Shack,’ but that my book was the real deal for her,” McCoss-Yerigan said. “That was such an honor. It just humbles me.”

McCoss-Yerigan will speak about her and her family’s experience at a Legacy Luncheon event at noon on Monday at the Marshall Area YMCA. Reservations are required for a lunch count, so the public is asked to RSVP to Keith Miller at keithm@grillworksinc.com by 9 a.m. on Monday.

“I read and read and read after I lost Clint, trying to find something to help,” McCoss-Yerigan said. “I wanted to find something that told about someone going through so much pain and lived through it. But I didn’t find it, so I thought I’d write it. And the book is very graphic about the pain and what’s it’s like to live without your child.”

Unlike some author accounts, where the writing process was therapeutic, McCoss-Yerigan said it was utterly painful for her. She credits her youngest son (Garrett) for pushing her to expose everything despite potential criticism.

“He said, ‘tell the truth,’ even about the part where he got into prescription drugs to cope, because ‘that’s how you will help people,'” McCoss-Yerigan said. “He said, ‘Mom, be brave.'”

That honesty has been what has made countless connections with people across the country, which was the hope all along. The book was written to help people, so all of the proceeds go to charity to help others.

“I prayed and prayed that God would give me the words,” she said. “I’d write and re-read, always pushing myself to dig deeper. I wanted people to understand, as close as they can, the ridiculous pain that is involved in losing a child. I always thought it would be awful, but in reality, it’s a billion times worse than I imagined.”

In the book, McCoss-Yerigan talks about wanting to die, which sparks a connection with an anonymous man recently.

“A man came up to me and said he felt so ashamed for thinking about suicide until he realized that I felt the same way,” she said. “I never planned on being a public speaker or writer but since the book came out in April, I’ve been invited to schools, churches, art councils, Bible studies and museums. I didn’t expect the response we received. I just trusted that this was what God wanted me to do and did the best I could. I prayed that it would help people.”

Clint McCoss, a Yellow Medicine East student, was nearly 16 years old when he was found dead on the family farm, two days into the deer hunting season in 2006. McCoss-Yerigan’s husband, Tim, and the couple’s four children: Megan, Garrett, Briana and Kayla, were all home at the time, though nobody heard Clint awake and go outside with a gun, one that was thought to have been secured the night before. Whether is was an accident or by his own hand, Clint was gone, leaving his family to go on without him.

“For months, I wouldn’t even know who I was when I looked in the mirror,” McCoss-Yerigan said. “Our family was a perfect puzzle and all of a sudden, a piece was missing. We all died that day because we’re not the same anymore. Our perfect family was gone.”

Chapter three, which marked the day Clint died, was the most difficult to write, McCoss-Yerigan said, noting that she finally locked herself in a hotel room and powered through it.

“I couldn’t revisit it for awhile,” she said. “It was like picking at those scabs and opening up those wounds. But I wanted to help other people, even if it was just one person, to let me know that Clint’s life had so much value.”

McCoss-Yerigan describes her son, Clint, as the happiest, most positive person she has ever met. In addition, he was funny and kind. For those reasons, the Clint McCoss Kindness Scholarship was established, imparting more than $20,000 so far to YME students who embody those characteristics.

“It doesn’t matter what race a person is or what their grade-point average is, if they’ve touched somebody’s life, then they’re in the running for the kindness scholarship,” she said. “Clint was a great humanitarian. So it’s not just getting his story out there, we’re trying to reward others for their kindness as well.”

While nothing is the same, McCoss-Yerigan and her family have strived to live with a new normal, still suffering sadness but also finding joy in their lives.

“It’s been almost eight years, and we’re all just finally finding our way back,” McCoss-Yerigan said. “It’s been a long road. Tim and I lived for the kids and did everything with them. And when you live so closely with each other, you open yourself to hurt.”

McCoss-Yerigan calls grief an unfair opponent because everyone reacts differently to loss. Likewise, what helps each person can also differ, she said.

“But I’m happy, and my kids are happy,” she said. “We miss Clint every second, but we feel joy at times, too.”

The Legacy Luncheon is sponsored by the Legacy Foundation, which is an interdenominational group of Christian men and women who have a heart to impact their workplace, the community and families for Jesus Christ, board member Kim Sanow said.

“We aspire to live and lead boldly for Christ and inspire others to do the same,” Sanow said.

In addition to sponsoring Legacy Luncheons, the Legacy Foundation also sponsors leadership roundtables, a six-session leadership class to develop practical and spiritual tools to become servant leaders in the workplace, youth leadership and prayer ministry.

On Nov. 2, a Legacy Foundation Celebration: Live, Love, Laugh will be at Marshall High School, with dinner at 6 p.m., followed by family entertainment. Comedian Michael Pearce Donley will perform. Tickets are being sold at Hy-Vee and Treasured Times.

“The Legacy recognition dinner is really to honor pastors in the Marshall area,” Sanow said. “It’s an appreciation for how pastors serve the body of Christ.”