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‘I’d never felt so alone’

Speaker shares story of success after addiction

Photo courtesy of Krista Bjella Speaker Tony Hoffman addresses 900 Marshall High School students on Monday. He told of his experiences with drug addiction, which were followed by success in bike racing. He delivers about 240 programs nationally each year.

MARSHALL — Tony Hoffman saw the depths of addiction, then he reached substantial heights in Olympic BMX bike racing.

He specializes in telling audiences about how he went from homelessness and prison to a life founded in success. He’s been drug and alcohol free for the past 15 years.

He shared his story twice Monday in Marshall. He spoke to an all-school morning assembly at the high school, and then to another gymnasium filled with students at the middle school.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do with your life,” Hoffman said as he began his morning presentation. “I’m here to tell my story, to talk about my choices and consequences. We can learn from hearing life stories.”

He described his first brush with drugs in seventh grade in Fresno, California. At the time, he was facing social anxiety that led to isolation and depression.

He obtained marijuana from a classmate after a female classmate asked if he could get some for her. When she confessed to school officials that he was her source of drugs, he was suspended for drug dealing.

“I never had a conversation with anyone about what I was feeling (in terms of mental health) because I thought no one would understand,” Hoffman said. “We’re fortunate now because there’s intervention in the schools. Back then anyone who was connected to drugs was a bad kid. All they did was kick us out.”

He said the most positive part of his seventh-grade experience was that his father made him go to a BMX track with his brother.

Although bike racing became a passion, it wasn’t enough to make him overcome his mental health issues. He said that as soon as he took off his helmet he’d feel either anxious or depressed.

His parents forced him to move out of their home when he was 18 years old after they found drugs in his backpack. He attempted to take a well-paying job as a computer network administrator, which made him sink to new emotional lows.

“When I gave up bike racing, all I had was myself,” Hoffman said. “I hated how I felt. I couldn’t stop thinking that I should kill myself.”

He returned to Fresno from San Diego, where he gradually became a daily drug user. He described the drug use as something that felt good, something that could make him laugh and relax.

He said the worst mistake of his life was committing an armed robbery to steal painkillers. He took them from a friend’s mother who had multiple sclerosis.

Because of his status as a first-time offender, an attorney hired by his parents was able to reduce a potential 17-year prison sentence to five years of probation and drug rehabilitation. He later relapsed, entering a difficult point in his life that included periods of homelessness and a prison term.

“I never saw myself as an addict until I was homeless,” he said. “I’d never felt so alone. I knew I had problems but didn’t know where to turn.”

He credits a saying written on a jail wall in 2007 as a catalyst for setting new priorities. By 2011 he was competing as one of the best BMX cyclists in America. He turned to coaching after a knee injury ended his racing career.

He also became a motivational speaker and an orgnizer of non-profit mental health groups. He ended his coaching last year in order to devote his time to about 240 days in which he speaks to schools and other organizations.

In his past 15 years of sobriety, he’s reconnected with his immediate family and gotten married. He told the audience that he still faces issues about feeling isolated and abandoned, something with which his wife helps him come to terms.

He advised at risk students to reach out to others, a step that can help with the need to make healthy choices that pave the way for success after high school.

“Now more than ever we need to think about the choices we make,” Hoffman said. “It’s not about having a good time. It comes down to mental wellness.”

Marshall High School students who heard Monday’s presentation said it’s likely to prove helpful to many of their peers.

Junior Ella Cole said it helped to hear a firsthand account of drug abuse. Junior Reagan Boerboom said Hoffman was interesting, and that his message is definitely needed.

“It seemed real because he talked about himself,” Boerboom said. “He showed us a personal connection. We were interested in what he had to say.”

Senior Ikran Ismail said she liked the way Hoffman included details about addiction and how it can be overcome. Senior Omar Abdi said the program was delivered in a way that appealed to teenagers.

“I liked his honesty,” Abdi said. “It was interesting to hear about the problems he went through and how he turned his life around.”

Marshall High School Principal Brian Jones said student feedback he received during Monday’s lunch period was very favorable.

“I heard many positive reactions,” Jones said. “He talked for 80 minutes, but students told me they’d have listened to him longer. He has a valuable story to tell. I’m glad he came here to share it.”

Hoffman’s visit was funded by Marshall’s Pride in the Tiger Foundation. In addition to the two assemblies, he met with student leaders to talk about ways to have a caring, supportive school environment.

Marshall school counselor Krista Bjella said she’s pleased with both the presentation and the way high school students paid attention.

“We had 900 students in the gym but you could have heard a pin drop,” Bjella said. “They listened. They heard from someone who’s walked the walk. I think they’ll process what he said and remember his message.”

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