Published by the Senior Class of 1916 Vol. II
Proposed Fussers' Club
1. Carl Hanson.
2. Carl A. Hanson.
3. Carl Adrian Hanson.
4. C. Adrian Hanson.
Why do Freshmen resemble real estate?
Because they are a vacant lot.
Miss Niles (in Caesar dictating composition) "Tell me, slave, where is my horse?"
Startled Sophomore "It's under my seat ma'am, I wasn't using it."
Miss Robinns "What is the Liberty Bell?"
Claude Brantner "The bell at the end of the sixth period."
Wilbur "I haven't the cheek to kiss you."
L. "Use mine."
"Father, you were born in California, weren't you?"
"yes, my son."
And mother was born in New York?"
"And I was born in Indiana?"
"Yes, my boy."
"Well, father, doesn't it beat the Dutch how we all got together?"
Miss Carlson (catching Oral handing Howard a match in English III) "Oral, don't you know it isn't proper to carry matches?"
Oral "Yes, that's why I'm giving it to Howard."
- Come late if possible, because then you will be seen to better advantage.
- Never bring a notebook, you can borrow paper from your friends and the noise created is but a slight distraction.
- If you haven't a fountain pen, someone will lend you a pencil, which you can sharpen during the class. This enables those near to cough without being heard.
- Sleep if possible, because the teacher prefers an interested class.
- If sleep is not possible, talk to the girl next you, and her giggles at your wit will enthuse the teacher.
- Throw ink on the floor, for the school has janitors for the express purpose of keeping them clean.
- A thorough study and careful observance of the above rules should establish ones eligibility to the Order of Concrete Boobs.
THE ODE TO LATIN
All of them are dead who wrote it.
All of them are dead who spoke it.
All of us will be dead who learn it.
Blessed death, we surely earn it.
Question (Civics) "If the President, Vice-President, and all of the cabinet should die, who would officiate?
Soucy (the undertaker) "I would."
High School Student (translating Virgil) "Three times I strove to cast my arms about her neck, and that's as far as I got, Miss Niles."
Miss Niles "Well, Mr. McLaughlin, I think that was far enough."
Ray (in geometry) "I have no more room on my paper, where shall I work this problem?"
Miss Sparks "Work it in your head, there is plenty of room there."
"Why didn't you yawn when Donald stayed so long?" asked Mrs. Pierard.
"I did." Said Virginia. "And he told me what beautiful teeth I had."
Verna link and Gleva Fortin were talking over various and sundry matters the other day, when Gleva asked: "Don't you think Slats is good looking?"
"Well, I don't know," replied Verna, "I never was up that high."
(Continued next week)