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Figuring out the Globes

January 18, 2010 - Deb Gau
I watched a bit of the Golden Globes award show last night. Not "watched," really, more like "glanced up at while heating up some leftovers." Anyway, I ended up being fascinated by how quickly or not some of the award recipients were hustled offstage, and tried to come up with some kind of Unified Theory of Acceptance Speeches to explain it.

At first, the best I could come up with was: The length of the allowed acceptance speech is inversely proportional to the number of people on stage. If you're part of an ensemble cast or a writing/production/effects team, forget it. By the time everyone gets up to the podium, they're already playing the music telling everyone to get off the stage.

I was pretty pleased with my theory, but then "Julie and Julia" won something and replaced it with an even simpler and clearer theory. The one rule of acceptance speeches is: Meryl Streep Is The Queen. It doesn't matter what the awards show is, or who's present, if Meryl wins an award, then she gets to talk as long as she wants.


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