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Mountain Pew

May 26, 2009 - Per Peterson
Normally, I’m an old-school kind of person. I like old movies, I like old music (is old even the right word?). Old cars are cool. I appreciate old school buildings and old churches. I like throwback uniforms and turn-back-the-clock days. But one thing I can’t tolerate — as I found out the hard way Tuesday — is old-school, “throwback” Mountain Dew. Call me out of the loop, but I wasn’t even aware of this horrible promotion. When I bought a bottle of Dew on Tuesday at Casey’s, the sweet label caught my eye. But the label isn’t the only thing throwback about my favorite beverage. Apparently, the recipe is, too, as it’s made with something called “natural sugar.” Natural sugar? 'Scuse me? Supposedly, this is what Dew tasted like in the 1960s and '70s, which makes me feel bad for anyone who grew up in the 1960s and '70s. It’s a retro recipe and, the Web site says, it’s only available for a short time … thank God. It’s worse than Diet Dew — not because it tastes like Diet Dew, but because rubes like me are fooled into buying it because of its cool wrap. Diet Dew has about as much flavor as tagboard, and that’s what the retro Dew tastes like. Dew lovers out there, don’t be duped. Be wary of the throwback Dew — it’s not that good. I want my fructose, and my buck-50, back. A promotional spot on Mountain Dew’s Web site — yes, I went to the Mountain Dew Web site — says the Mountain Dew throwback will “tickle your innards.” Maybe for some that’s true. For me, it makes me want to hurl my innards. That’s all.


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