The 50 on 59 club

My drive home from work Thursday night started out pretty typical. Because it was first time I was actually outside that day, it took me a good five minutes for my body to adjust to the humidity. When you work in air conditioning for nine hours, and then step outside in 80-degree, 120 percent humidity, it kinda slaps you in the face. Then it punches you in the gut. Then, as you’re bent over, it gives you a knee to the forehead. And, after you fall to the ground, it kicks you in the back a few times before spitting on you. I hate humidity like George Jetson hates manual labor. I digress. My drive home turned atypical when, much to my surprise, I started gaining on the car in front of me. Then, I started riding my brakes. And then, I did something I do probably once every three months — I passed him! You gotta know, I’m the guy who never goes over 57 mph on the highway. Never. I like driving the speed limit, sorry. But I wasn’t done. After passing, I came upon a second vehicle, and as I got closer I was able to read her bumper sticker. The oversized green letters read: “HYPER MILER,” and it became quite obvious I was the meat in a gas-saving sandwich. And I loved it. Finally, I thought to myself, I found people who actually have taught themselves to slow down on the highway. And one of them's actually bragging about it! I’m not being prudish when I say people should drive slower, I’m being practical. Test after test has shown the slower you drive, the better mileage you get, yet we, as a society, ignore these tests and continue to push the envelope on the highway. When we see “Speed Limit 55” we go 63. When we see “Speed Limit 65” we go 70, and so on and so on until we're in hyper-drive. Why? Well, some of us just like to go fast, and some are always in a hurry. But the people driving these two cars Thursday night on U.S. Highway 59 South, weren’t in a hurry, rather, they were heeding the advice of others to drive slower and save on gas. Finally, people are getting it. I know it’s only two out of thousands around here, but at least it’s something. A few minutes later, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw about five cars passing the two Hyper Milers, and it didn’t take long for them to form a mini-convoy on my tail. Then, they sped by me like I was standing still, probably asking themselves if I was leader in this funeral procession. Whatever. Anyway, if either of the people driving 50 on 59 Thursday night are reading this, thank you. And for those of you who see “65” when it says “55,” try slowing down once in awhile — not slow enough to count corn stalks on your way down the highway — just slow enough to save a little gas. That way, when you see an approaching State Patrol squad car, you won’t get that squeamish feeling in your stomach that everyone gets right before they realize they about to get pulled over.